Thursday, February 11, 2010

Two to Tango

Two to Tango
Dec 14, 2009
Matthew 5:23-24 " . . . remember that your brother has something against you . . . go and be reconciled to your brother. . ."

The Tango is a dance between a man and a woman, where their proximity to each other is extremely close. This closeness requires the dancers to be in perfect synch with each other, lest they clash. This closeness in proximity of the dancers leaves little room for error; if one of the dancers missteps, neither of the dancers would be making any poetic movements. While my two left feet preclude be from becoming an excellent Tango dancer, the dance has a great deal of similarities to human relationships. Just like the Tango, which cannot be danced alone, a relationship cannot exist unless there are two. In human relationships, if one party is out of synch with the other, it can create a great deal of awkwardness and un-poetic movements.

Consider a wall; you can't argue with a wall. A wall has no will of its own, no feelings or emotions. The wall cannot yell at you and will never disagree with you. You will never have a verbal fight with a wall and risk not speaking to it for the rest of your life. But you will certainly never dance the Tango with a wall. People, however, are a different story. Husbands, wives, parents, children, siblings...these are all monikers which denote a relationship with another human being. It is this relationship, this dance of two individuals that creates the poetry. But unlike a wall, each dancer has his or her own free will, feelings, thoughts, likes, etc. These differences must be put aside if the two are going to get along. These differences are what cause most fights and argument s in relationships.

God was aware of this probability when He gave humans a free will. He knew they could either move poetically together or clash like titans. That is why God gives a great deal of advice in the Bible about getting along with others. God's advice, though, can be summed up in the second greatest commandment in the Bible: love your neighbor as yourself. We remember this command from the Bible, but we seldom practice it in our close and intimate relationships. If we loved our children, like we loved ourselves, we would never have yelled at them. If we loved our siblings, like we loved ourselves, we would never have held that grudge for so many years. If we loved our spouses, like we loved ourselves, we would never have treated him or her with such disrespect.

There is a remedy, though, to this clash of individuals, that can get both parties moving together poetically. God tells us to remember the issue, go to that person, and be reconciled to them. This word, reconciled, means to work it out so that the relationship is mended to the point of being brand new, with no hard feelings between anyone. To be reconciled is to be like ONE, setting aside the differences for the sake of getting along. If you are going to a person to be reconciled to them, you are not going to them to point out their flaws; you are going to them to admit your own faults. Trust me, you have many. Chances are, you are just as wrong as the other person. And just like the Tango, which requires both to set aside differences in order to move together poetically, you must set aside yourself. This means you never get to be right, even if you are. In order to be in synch, you must put down your right to move as an individual.

Remember, you are to love them as you would love yourself. Ah, the relationships of humans, how awkward it is. It is much more pleasant to watch if people are in synch with each other, just like the Tango.

1. What relationship is out of step?
2. How can you take the initiative to reconcile?
3. How can you give up your right to move as an individual?

Add. Scriptures for Study: Prov 10:12, Prov 17:9, Mark 12:28-31, Eph 4:26, 1 Cor 7:11, 1 Peter 4:8

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